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, and, what is it that fear looks like to you

by Scott Brabson

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1.
Bird 03:49
Lovesick bird bears his burden to the mass, Sings his song to anyone who will listen back He sings his song with his heart on his tongue, with a faded photograph in his sock They’ll walk by with X’s on their eyes green back tethers beckon them to walk When did you get your wings clipped? Could you love someone new? One who’ll hold you through the night Forget the past, forward motion puts history behind She sings her song with her heart on her tongue She’s waiting in hope of a response But you’ll stand by with your arms tucked by your sides because a ghost has claimed a place in your thoughts And a ghost says “oooooo...” He sings his song with his heart on his tongue a faded photograph in his sock He’ll let love walk by a hundred thousand times and the memory will never let him stop
2.
Via Negativa 03:48
for being nothing but the stories of a simpler man your absence has left its mark now the Mariana has nothing on this trench your flight did rend when you were ripped from my life would i be foolish to think that you miss me Would it be sad if i still held to this thread my knees grow weak with science and history oh i still hear the words you never even said the arrogance the space you left i see sideways and pass out with a curse on my lips gilded pages and a golden light you were a crutch but i'm weak, and your fake was enough
3.
Sivvy 04:32
My heart was ripe for the picking that night when you rolled through My blood still yearns for you no matter what I do Now I’m trying my best but my synapses won’t reconnect I feel like a sinking ship and you’re the ocean pouring in She cut her teeth on poison lips Let her drink water from the sea Her pale face turns red with shame Pulls the waves from deep beneath From within you and me And the distance that lies between A dying fig tree a Book of poetry Jesus Christ Did Sylvia Plath get it right when she blew out a pilot light? She cut her teeth on poison lips Let her drink water from the sea Her pale face turns red with shame Pulls the waves from deep beneath Cut her sails boys and let her drift Let the sun take its toll and crack her skin A white whale and my god damned life Turn all my bread to flesh and all my blood to wine Until these veins run dry I’ll sit and abide my time A mother’s tit the baby’s fit when it runs dry Some things were just meant for a time When did ours pass by?
4.
Babushka 04:06
Russian nesting dolls we've become a quiet cloistering ad nauseum A new haircut something I said the colors that fled when I didn't listen do you love me at all? His words were a thin thatched roof that let in the rain when June fell from your body and into the grave The birds changed their songs the leaves in the wind the crack in your voice a despondent choice and a longing to fall Oh god, oh god, oh god the pain he will, he will, he will not be late and that's where we left this on the flood plains of Maine Suddenly from the green that surrounds you something has gone guilt calls from your motel dresser St. Gideon He grasped your hair and buckled with shame you said I'll explain no I swear I'll explain just not today Oh god, oh god, oh god the pain penance, penance, penance I must pay a picture, a picture, a picture of her will live in my sock drawer until the day and that's where she'll stay until I'm over this one day
5.
I'll be the grapes fermented Bottled and served with the table set In my finest suit, like a perfect gentleman I'll be the fire escape That's bolted to the ancient brick Where you will sit and contemplate your day I'll be the waterwings That save you if you start drowning In an open tab when your judgement's on the brink I'll be the phonograph That plays your favorite albums back As you're lying there, drifting off to sleep I'll be the platform shoes And undo what heredity's done to you You won't have to strain to look into my eyes I'll be your winter coat Buttoned and zipped straight to the throat With the collar up so you won't catch cold I want to take you far From the cynics in this town And kiss you on the mouth We'll cut our bodies free From the tethers of this scene Start a brand new colony Where everything will change We'll give ourselves new names (Identities erased) The sun will heat the ground Under our bare feet In this brand new colony Everything will change
6.
should the lord decide my time has come until my dying breath I will hold this moment Where we exchanged our rings and said I will love you till death I will love you till death Should I leave your arms in the night I know our love was right Should I pass after a vicious fight I know our love was right I'd urge you not to follow suit though god knows that I'd miss you there's those here that need you too but one day our ashes will mix and they'll tell stories of us through leather-bound photo albums Should I leave your arms in the night I know our love was right Should I pass after a vicious fight I know our love was right If you try and leave before me I'll be hot on your heels when that hole opens up and pulls us in there'll be nothing to fear we'll pay Charon's toll and he'll ferry us across a river of black we'll face the darkness with a warmth we'll hold in our hands
7.
You see the Sunday birds swinging low , and a fever in your brain only grows and the murder boys are running down the street , you can see 'em from the window from your seat Hear the sound of the mightiest of guns And the shadows go like ghosts across your room , oh, take the world and burn it in a spoon A mercy ship to sail you off to sleep , to where the crimson angels swim the deep there is no hiding from the mightiest of guns worth every breath you drink in the night , you won't give up your blue without a fight And looking at the sky there is no pain , see the stars all falling down like burning rain , they were fired by the mightiest of guns Tomorrow i'll be out of my mind , the bear will dance and the organ will grind And i'm laughin cause i know there ain't no sin All the world on a head of a pin Turning fast beneath the mightiest of guns . Turning fast beneath the mightiest of guns .
8.
Epilogue 00:45
Is this what life will be A chase, a footrace against the things that I once dreamed the things that I need to feel complete
9.
if the bravery finds you would you take it upon yourself to find me through cut a path through the dark wood you'll find me ducking beneath the trees that well broke me in two now there's grass that I run my fingers through they say that grown men don't cry but even the dead, they did that night
10.
a squalid economic wind blew you off the coast of Seoul into the grip of the US marines saw things you'd thought you'd never see and you missed your wife and the tales she told at night and the cadence call with your ear against her heart and she prayed for your safe return the tempest forged you into something new did things thought you'd never do bar fight you just escaped but lost your site the water took more than it gave an albatross lead us in the dark it died on deck we all mourned its death still Neptune raged showed us no mercy that day a siren's song that you knew all along still you prayed for my safe return merchant marine the troubles that you've seen through stormy seas to the shore the curse you carried when st. elmo breathed a fire around your head you're bringing home ghosts and siren's songs that sing for you in the night and demand no less than a shoving match and an empty glass the fights we held onto would destroy me and you (this was supposed to be different)
11.
I do, adieu 05:44
up early this morning to chase off the lies and gather the pieces I made in the night I'm a shameful ghost watching you dream lungs trapped in my chest because I want you to sleep said you're a fool with a fool's past you can't reconcile a green land gone squalid emotions you can't rile in a room all alone you rob graves and divine bones and use writers and poets because you can't make your own I agree with you I give credence to whispers that pray on my mind spooling darkness I can't seem to unwind I flew off the handle when you mentioned this now I've used all my time up and I've got nothing left You're pregnant with the demons you won't exorcise skeletons you dance with but won't look in the eyes oh you're dripping with passion but you grimace the sighs your poison misspent when it's you you despise I agree with you I keep making faces of patterns on walls you hold me and tell me that I'm tired and that's all that this can be good that we can go away that whoever lauded being afraid I agree with you

about

A compilation of home-recorded demos from 2008-2012, warts and all, at the bequest of an old friend.

credits

released October 27, 2013

Clint Shaw, main vox on Mightiest of Guns
Ryan Honaker, recording and production on Sivvy

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Scott Brabson Denver, Colorado

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